


Do you?

by PeterHaleforAlpha



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27916726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterHaleforAlpha/pseuds/PeterHaleforAlpha
Summary: “So, what now?” Claire asked when Mara was finished.“Now we wait,” Mara just answered, stood up again and fetched herself a mug of coffee.“Wait for what?” Claire wanted to know.Mara had to suppress an eyeroll. Wasn’t it obvious? “For your little girlfriend to show up to rescue you.”---This is a gift for Iamtheholyghost for mythoughtsaretroubled's Haven Gift Exchange.
Relationships: Audrey Parker & Audrey Parker | Mara, Claire Callahan/Audrey Parker
Comments: 12
Kudos: 8
Collections: Haven 2020 Gift Exchange





	Do you?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iamtheholyghost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamtheholyghost/gifts).



> Hey Hetty,  
> I hope you enjoy this little fic. I had really fun writing it. It's rare that I dabble into Mara and Claire so thank you for the challenge. I decided to do your angst prompt because I'm really shitty at fluff *haha*  
> I really hope you enjoy it <3

Mara felt Claire’s gaze on herself as she tied the rope around her hands, binding her to the arms of the chair. She didn’t seem frightened, at least she didn’t show it. Of course, she was. Everyone was scared of her. And that for a good reason. There was no way that Claire was the only exception for that. Definitely not. Especially not because she probably heard so many more stories of her than anyone else had. 

“So, what now?” Claire asked when Mara was finished. 

“Now we wait,” Mara just answered, stood up again and fetched herself a mug of coffee. 

“Wait for what?” Claire wanted to know. 

Mara had to suppress an eyeroll. Wasn’t it obvious? “For your little girlfriend to show up to rescue you.” 

“So, this is all about Audrey?” 

Mara laughed softly. “Did you think I was interested in you? I mean, you’re not bad looking, don’t get me wrong, but I’m more interested in Audrey.” 

“Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to you?” 

Mara tightened her grip around her mug but didn’t show any hint of anger on her face. Of course, Audrey didn’t want to talk to her, that much was obvious, but Audrey couldn’t just make up some rules and expect that Mara would just play along nicely. She had always been rebellious. “Now she has to, right? You’re here, you’re in danger. She will come to save you.” There was no way that Audrey would just leave Claire to rot here with Mara. “She’s always the hero, isn’t she?” 

“Does it bother you?” Claire asked, her voice still completely calm. Mara was impressed by that, she had to admit. 

“What?” 

“That Audrey is always the hero. Does it bother you?” 

Mara laughed out loudly. Did Claire actually know who she was talking to? It didn’t seem that way. Had she accidently bumped Claire’s head when she grabbed her? “Why should that bother me?” 

“Because you stand in her shadow. People always compare you. Audrey is the hero. You’re the villain.” 

_Villain._ Mara liked the sound of that. A proud smile found its way to her lips. “I like to be the villain.” 

“Do you?” 

This question came unexpected and it took Mara by surprise. For just a split second her mask faltered into little pieces and her true face was showing. Confusion. Pain. Hurt. She turned around, fetched a chair as an excuse and sat down on it. When she faced Claire again, her mask was back on, a little smile on her face. “Of course, I do. Being the hero is boring. All the rules you have to stick to and you always have to be polite. I hate being polite. Being the villain is fun. I can do whatever I want. Whenever I want.” 

Mara leaned forward, tilting her head just a little to the side. “Any other deep questions for me, doc?” 

Claire just stayed quiet, watching Mara intently. 

Mara huffed and leaned back in her chair again, one arm draped over the back. She took a sip of her coffee before she asked, “Did I already silence you? Was that too shocking? Or am I too complicated for you to fix? You want to fix me, right? I can see it in your eyes. Your fingers are literally twitching. You want to help me. _Fix me_.” Mara’s tone was mocking. 

“You don’t need to be fixed.” 

Mara laughed again. “Trying to earn my trust here? I won’t fall for your psychological tricks, doc. I’m too smart for that.” She wouldn’t fall for that. Claire had to come up with something better. She wasn’t so easy to outsmart. “I’m smarter than Audrey.” 

“Better and smarter, huh?” 

“Exactly,” Mara said and leaned closer, whispering now, “So much better.” 

Claire tilted her head. “So why don’t you have all the things Audrey has?” 

“Like what?” 

“Like … friends? … Girlfriend?” 

Mara snorted. “Seriously?” She shook her head, still laughing. What did Claire think? That she was Audrey? She didn’t need friends or a partner. She was completely happy on her own. 

She leaned even closer and lightly patted Claire’s cheek. “You really think I’d care about that?” 

Claire fixed her eyes on Mara again, her gaze intense and almost piercing. Mara didn’t like it. She wanted to recoil but she couldn’t do that without losing the upper hand. “Do you?” 

“No!” Mara literally spatted out. She pulled back, jumped to her feet which let the chair fall to the ground with an audible clatter. “I don’t care about that at all.” 

“And why did you kidnap me?” Claire was still calm, didn’t even look bemused about Mara’s little outburst which made Mara even angrier. Claire thought she was so much better. Audrey thought she was so much better. 

“I just want to talk to Audrey. I told you that already. Nothing more, nothing less. I want Audrey. And that is apparently the only way.” 

“Because she’s ignoring you?” Claire asked, her voice disgustingly soft. As if she pitied her. There was nothing to be pitied. 

“You want her to be more open with you?” Claire continued when Mara had lost herself in her thoughts and hadn’t answered. 

“She’s shutting me out!” Not a single word had come from Audrey and Mara hated it. She thought she was better, didn’t need to talk to her. She had her high moral standards and Mara didn’t fit into this picture. So, she was just ignoring her. But this was about to end. Mara would give her no other choice than speaking to her. 

“I didn’t know that.” Claire’s voice was sincere. Mara actually believed her which she didn’t like at all. Claire was the enemy. She was with Audrey, so she was the enemy. Audrey wanted it like that. Wanted to be on opposite sides. Wanted this silence between them. This coldness. And ignorance. 

“How can I help?” 

Mara was pulled out of her thoughts and she stared at Claire. “What?” 

“How can I help you?” Claire repeated. 

“I don’t need your help!” Mara was able to do all of this on her own. She was used to it. Audrey ignored her so she had to learn to do things on her own, with no one having her back. And this was what she was doing. She was forcing Audrey to talk, not to ignore her any longer. 

“Are you sure? I could talk to Audrey, tell her how you feel, make her understand that she’s hurting you.” 

Mara rolled her eyes. “Of course, you think that I’m hurt. I’m not hurt.” 

“You’re not?” 

“No, I’m pissed. Really pissed.” Audrey thought she could just ignore her, shut her out but Mara would force her to open up. She would give her no choice. Mara was too strong at the moment; Audrey wouldn’t be able to overpower her. So, she had no other option than to lower the walls. 

Claire just nodded. “So how does it work?” 

Mara was confused for a second. “How does what work?” 

“You and Audrey. How does it work between you two?” 

Mara scoffed. “Typical. Audrey didn’t tell you?” 

“Audrey told me stuff, of course she did. I was curious. But apparently, she didn’t tell me everything. You said she’s shutting you out. I thought – I really thought you were just two separate people, both living your own lives.” 

“We don’t have to be,” Mara said and grabbed the chair from the floor to sit down again. “We could be _one_.” 

“One?” Claire asked. “So, you say you could be – you could be with us when I’m with Audrey?” 

Mara smiled cheekily. “You want to know if we could have a three-way?” 

“No, I didn’t-” Claire started to stammer, turning slightly red. 

Mara laughed amused. “Well, we can’t, not in the literal sense but yes, I could be with you. Both of you. Not just Audrey.” 

“And you want that?” Claire asked. 

“Do you?” Mara countered, leaning closer again. 

Claire stayed quiet for a moment before she said, “What I want doesn’t matter right now. This is a thing between you and Audrey. And you really need to fix that.” 

Mara huffed. “Yeah, tell Audrey that. She’s still quiet. Still not speaking. Although I have you tied to a chair.” 

“Can she see that?” There was a hint of uncertainty in Claire’s voice. Was she worried that Audrey was ignoring her too? Maybe she thought that Audrey didn’t react on purpose, didn’t want to play Mara’s little game and she just let Claire hang like that. 

Somehow Mara didn’t like the thought that Claire might think that. “No, she can’t, not with these walls up. As you said. We’re two separate people at the moment. Either I’m in control. Or she is.” 

“So, you’d need to pull back in order for Audrey to get to the surface?” 

Mara just nodded. 

“But you’re still here with me. Why?” 

“Because if I kidnap you and let Audrey take over half an hour later, that’s not really a clear message. She will just ignore it, like everything else I do. But if I keep you here for a few hours, maybe even try to push Audrey down when she wants to take over, this will have more effect on her.” 

“You want to fight her?” 

“She’s been fighting me all her life!” Not all her life, but most of it. They had been close once and then – then something changed. Audrey had decided she wanted to be on her own, had decided that Mara was evil and Audrey was right if she shut her out, even pushed her down, lock her up in the depths of their body. Mara had a hard time getting back to the surface, to take control. It had gotten better. Mara was getting more and more time in control, to live her life. It had gotten easier to overpower Audrey but that wasn’t what Mara wanted. She wanted to share it with Audrey, wanted to share their body, not fight over it. 

At the moment Mara could get out every few days. For a few hours, maybe a day if she was lucky. And she used every minute of it. She had a lot of fun. Didn’t care what others might think. Or what Audrey might think. She had been locked up most of her life. With no one to talk to. 

Not even Audrey. 

And that was all what Mara wanted. To hear Audrey’s voice again. 

“Let me talk to her,” Claire said again. “Audrey’s stubborn, she won’t give in. Not like that. Let her to the surface and let me talk to her.” 

Mara scoffed. “And I should trust you why?” 

“You don’t need to trust me but you won’t lose anything either. If it doesn’t work you just take me again the next time you wake up next to me in bed. Then you’ll take me for a few hours, get the message to Audrey that you’re not playing a game but that you’re serious. Just let me talk to her. You have nothing to lose.” 

Mara looked at Claire. She was right. This whole thing wouldn’t bring anything until Audrey knew Mara had her beloved Claire. And she didn’t know that yet. Maybe it was worth it, to pull back now and see what would change by the next time she came up. 

So, she nodded. “Fine.” 

“I’ll talk to her. I promise.” 

“Your promise doesn’t mean anything to me,” Mara said, although it did. It had been a long time since anyone cared enough to promise her something. 

“I promise anyway,” Claire made clear. 

Mara smiled to herself. She could understand why Audrey liked her. There was something about Claire. “Ok, then let’s get this over with,” she murmured. She hated this part. Normally she savoured every little last minute she could get in freedom, never even had thought to pull back before she had to, before she was getting tired of fighting. It was the first time she was doing it voluntarily. 

Mara closed her eyes, still hesitating, not wanting to go, but then she pulled back, going back down in the black hole that was her home. 

* * * * * 

When Audrey opened her eyes she immediately moved forward, the mug falling out of her hand, and she reached for Claire’s wrists. “Claire? What?” She mumbled as she tried to open the ties. 

“I’m fine,” Claire assured her at once. 

“Mara!” Audrey hissed. “This time she went too far. I told you she was dangerous but I didn’t think – I didn’t think she’d go after you. I’m sorry.” 

Claire immediately cupped Audrey’s cheek when her hand was free. “Not your fault. And I’m fine. Really. Mara didn’t hurt me.” 

Audrey shook her head. “Still. It’s not ok. I’m gonna find a way to get rid of her. Once and for all.” 

“No.” 

Audrey looked at her, confused. “No?” 

Claire shook her head. “No,” she said softly. “That’s not the right way.” 

“What did she say to you?” Audrey wanted to know, her voice urgent, a hint of anger in it. Mara could be so manipulative, and Audrey hated that she had gotten her claws in Claire. Claire didn’t deserve that. 

“We just talked.” 

Audrey shook her head. “Mara doesn’t _just talk_. Every word she uses has a purpose. She manipulates. She gets in your head. She’s evil, Claire.” 

“I don’t think she is.” 

Audrey sighed. “I know you want to see the good in people and I love that about you but Mara is truly evil. She wants something and she’s using you for it.” 

“Audrey,” Claire said softly. “Mara just wants one thing. And she’s not using me for it. I offered to help.” 

Of course, Claire did that. Audrey couldn’t even be mad at her. Claire was always helping people, she always thought that there was something good in every human being. But Mara and her weren’t human. That was the difference. 

“She just wants to talk to you.” 

Audrey turned her attention back to Claire, just staring at her. “What?” 

“She wants to talk to you. That’s why she kidnapped me. She’s trying to force you. She’s desperate, Audrey.” 

“Why would she want to talk to me?” 

“Why not?” Claire asked, smiling softly. “You’re amazing, truly amazing. And maybe Mara just wants to be your friend.” 

Audrey shook her head, almost frantically. “She doesn’t. She’s bad.” 

“Why? Why is she bad? What has she done that was so terrible?” 

“You don’t understand, babe.” 

“Then explain it to me! You never told me anything about you two, just the bare minimum I needed to know. And now Mara tells me that you could be one. One being. Not two parted people. What is going on? What happened?” 

Audrey sighed. “It’s a long story. And it was so long ago.” 

Claire stroked her thumb over Audrey’s cheek, so gently. Audrey closed her eyes for a moment, just enjoying this soft affection before she sighed and opened her eyes again, returning to reality. “We were one. Once. So many years ago. It feels almost like a dream.” 

“So, what happened? Why are you like this now? Why are you separated?” 

“Because she’s evil.” 

“Audrey, that’s not a real reason. Nor an explanation. Tell me.” 

“Our mother always told us that we’re special. That something like us … it didn’t happen that often. She always told us how strong we could be. Two souls in one body. One, strong being. At least if we stayed on the same path. She warned us. To stay together. To stay one. Because if beings like us … if we were drifting apart, in opposite directions, it could be bad. We could split, not our body, but our minds and souls. It would make us weak. Vulnerable.” 

Claire’s hand was still on her cheek, still stroking her. She didn’t ask what happened, just waited for Audrey to be ready to continue with her story. 

She took a deep breath. “She said we could lose ourselves if we weren’t careful. Could get crazy because of the constant fighting. So, we promised ourselves that this would never happen.” 

Audrey was lost in her memories, of her mother, and of those happier times. The break was probably too long because Claire’s voice rang through to her, “So why did it happen?” 

“Mara and I, we were different. She was always a little more rebellious, wanted to test her boundaries, how far she could go. She dreamed of big adventures. And she always tried to persuade me to go with her. One day she managed to do it. We sneaked out in the middle of the night. I knew it was wrong but Mara had so much fun and even if I didn’t want to admit it, I had too. I was happy. Carefree. A little more like Mara was. At least until the next morning, until we found out that our parents died that night. They came after us, looking for us because we never left the house without telling them. _I_ never did.” 

“I’m sorry, Audrey,” Claire whispered softly. 

Audrey shook her head. “I was so mad at Mara. She manipulated me to go with her. I would have never done it and our parents died because of us. I didn’t want to speak to Mara. It was her fault. Her fault alone. So, I pushed her away, pushed her deep down and locked her away.” 

Audrey looked down to the ground, didn’t want to see the look on Claire’s face. She wasn’t sure if it would be sympathetic. Or maybe even judgemental. Maybe she was mad or shocked even. Audrey was scared of Claire’s reaction. That’s why she had never told her before. She had never told anyone this story. She had never planned to do it. But Claire was special, and she couldn’t lie to her any longer. 

“For how long?” Claire whispered finally. 

“I don’t know. It was a long time. I started to read stuff about beings like us, read everything I could find. There wasn’t much. As I said, beings like us were rare. But I found several texts, some of them really old. I read about things I already knew, that our mother told us, about being strong if we’re together, and vulnerable and weak if we’re apart. I didn’t feel weak, not as weak as I thought I would be. But then I found another text, an old diary from someone like me. He managed to lock his other part away, saying that he managed that because he was better. Purer. They were completely different. Good and evil. And he was stronger and could keep him locked up. So, I knew why I was able to keep Mara locked away. Because it was meant like that.” 

Claire moved her hand and grabbed Audrey’s chin, lifting her head up gently. “Do you really believe that? That it was meant to be? Because you’re good and she’s evil?” 

Aurey nodded. 

“Or are you just afraid that you made a terrible mistake and don’t want to face the consequences? That you locked Mara away because you were mad and hurt and that she didn’t deserve it at all?” 

Audrey shook her head. No, that was not true. 

“You were mad at her, Audrey, I get that. And you didn’t want to talk to her again. I get that too. You were mad and hurt, so terribly hurt. But did you ever consider that maybe there was another reason? Not just this right or wrong? Or good and bad?” 

“What other reason?” 

Claire took Audrey’s hand and squeezed it gently. “I think you were able to lock Mara away because she didn’t fight you. She was hurt too. Maybe she felt guilty. She lost her parents too, because she made a stupid decision. She knew it was her fault, because you were saying it to her. She was telling it herself probably. She knew it was her fault so she let it happen. She let you take control and accepted her fate. Maybe she even thought that she deserved it.” 

Audrey shook her head, tears stinging in her eyes. 

“Why would she be able to come out again if it was what you think? She would be locked away for good? But maybe Mara started to fight? Maybe she thinks she deserves to live too. If you keep going like that you will never stop fighting. Mara will get stronger over time and you will fight every minute of every day. Just what your mother warned you about. She never wanted this fate for you. She wanted you to be one.” 

Audrey shook her head again. “We can’t never be one again.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because Mara hates me.” 

“Oh, babe, I don’t think she does. She just wants to be with you again. Like it used to be. Be one. Feel each other. Talk to each other.” 

“And what about you?” Audrey looked Claire right into her eyes. Claire would leave if that happened. She wouldn’t want to be with both of them. 

Claire laughed softly. “Mara asked the same question. Maybe you’re more alike than you think.” 

“I don’t want to lose you,” Audrey murmured. 

“You don’t have to. You don’t have to lose me. Or Mara. But you need to work for it. And right now, you need to concentrate on Mara. Talk to her, Audrey. Just talk to her. And then decide how you want to keep going. There’s no harm in talking to her.” 

Audrey looked at Claire, taking a shaky breath. Maybe she was right. Audrey had pushed Mara down once before. She could do it again, if it was necessary. 

So, she nodded in the end. “Ok.” 

Claire smiled at her and squeezed her hand even tighter as Audrey closed her eyes. She could still feel Claire’s hand around her own as she reached out to Mara, tore down the walls and opened herself up. 

_“Mara?”_

_“...Audrey?”_

_“Claire said you wanted to talk to me_ _?”_

_“Do you?”_ There was a hint of fight in her voice. Of provocation. 

Audrey stayed calm though. _“Yes, I really want to.”_

**Author's Note:**

> At the moment this will be a stand alone but I might continue it because there is more to tell, so much more!


End file.
